So. The other day, I was sat in my flat watching the sunset from the colours hitting the windows of the flats opposite me - unfortunately, I don't get a sunset view, so I have to use my imagination a little ;)
The skies were lovely and blue, if you didn't notice the cold it could have been summer. It's been a while since things felt special like that, even though I always used to tell myself to make an effort to make it feel special anyway.
I got up, got in my car, wound down the windows and put the heat on full steam to trick myself into thinking it was baking hot outside, so hot I had to have my air con on full blast! ;) I slid a nice song on, this was my choice for the day:
In my mind, and in my memories, I will remember that day as the day I had a winter's summer day. It reminded me of a lesson I've learned throughout this sometimes-fun sometimes-not little adventure called life.
Your life is the way you see it.
When I'm older, I will not live in a mansion in New York, I will not have a series of flashy cars. I know exactly how my future will be - purely because I truly believe that our lives tend to swing towards what we imagine for ourselves. If we let ourselves feel like we are failures, we will end up as them.
When I picture my life in the future, I see myself living in the countryside with open fields, having kids running round with the sunlight in my face, not in a reflection of my neighbours window. I will have this as my future. This is what I am working towards, this is for me. Not having this is not an option. And I will work so hard for it.
What do you see your future as? Where can you see yourself living? Who do you want to be? Are you happy?
Failure is only an option if you make it one. You make your life - if you want to achieve the things that inspire you to get up in the morning, then make a plan and go and do them!!! I want to take photos which get recognised - I want to photograph famous people, I want people to find something unique in my imagery and I want people to say that those photographs inspire them. I don't have too much of a care for being famous myself, but I hope that in being a successful photographer I can achieve my house in a field of sunshine. I hope I can help change some lives, inspire some paths and make people re-consider where they want their life to go.
I will do all the things I want to do - purely because I will. My life will be the way I see it.
Similarly, money is great to have and takes away stress, but money is not the only thing I would like to have in my life. You can have plenty of money and life can still be dull, full of muted colours and crappy music. Roll down those windows and let that sunlight in. Got no car? Legs still work.
Sometimes in my life when I feel sad, it is because I have not let myself enjoy the world for whatever reason. We all get so caught up in what is happening currently - even though we're all fully aware that life is short, circumstances are temporary and we can all get through it. Nonetheless, we are all so busy stressing and thinking, sorting and planning, doing and running, that we forget to look down at our fingers on the keyboard and realise how pretty the light looks on them today. We forget to notice how young our hands are, and it's only when we see the wrinkles and the veins that we wish we'd appreciated it.
Your life is how you see it. I am not going to look back and wish I had appreciated everything that is going on around me - my youth, the feeling of the world, the fashions, the weather, my parent's laughter and the feeling of hope for what lies ahead.
Someday this will all be over. Everyone always talks about making every day count, living in the moment and all the quotes we hear over and over again, agree with - but somehow the days pass and it's tomorrow that will be better.
When I am old, I will be lying in my bed at home preparing to take my last breaths. I will be thinking about all the bizarre things that I swore I'd never think about, wondering which bizarre thought would be my last. I just lost The Game, dammit! But I will feel like I have finished my life with the peace that I have appreciated so much, forgotten so much, lived so little and yet have lived so much. Life is what you see. Your life can be whatever you like, a winter's summer day or a life where you only see the sunset reflected on your neighbour's window. I know which one I'm going to have.
