Monday, 17 February 2014

What I've Learned About Love

It seems so long ago that I wrote this blog post about love, life and being alone. Probably because it was years ago. I've had so many ups and so many downs since then in that arena, and so many emails of support and love from you guys online when my 3 year relationship came to an end at Christmas.

It's been about 2 months now, and I've done lots of thinking in that time, as most people do. Where did I go wrong, again? Why does every relationship fail with me? I've picked myself apart, reduced my food>mouth ratio and thought about love as a whole, my attitude towards it and what I will do differently next time.

One thing though, as I write this, stands out above the rest.

"There will come a time, you'll see. With no more tears. Where love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears."

Good old Mumford & Sons, what would I do without them? I think one of my big problems was (and probably still is) that I have a slight tendency to let love conquer all. Including logic and my better judgement. Love is a magic plaster that seals all wounds, no matter how deep. It's an excuse for bad behaviour that applies to every situation, no matter how painful and no matter how you both agreed that situation would not ever occur. Love is a glue which stops you from leaving even though you know you should.

Learning and realizing that my idea of love wasn't the best one for me really hurt. In a way, I wondered if the next love I had would really go as deep as I wanted it to, if it wasn't all-consuming, all-forgiving, all-purpose love. And then I heard those words. "Love will not break your heart."

That's what I'm aiming for. I want a love that loves. Being in love with someone shouldn't be a painful experience, and I will never let it be a painful one for me again. It can be challenging, with obstacles, but not obstacles which are the results of unkind actions.

I don't feel bitter, upset, angry or numb. I feel healed. I don't harbour any negative feelings about my situation. I feel happy that I have learned more about what I need from the next person I choose to love, and happy that I have given myself the chance to find them.

I guess I just wanted to write this down, for myself to read back at some point. I'm not sure.


  1. i've been in love with a guy who has girlfriend already and my love is unrequited. This time is really hard for me, it's so hard to move on.

    I love this sentence " I feel happy that I have learned more about what I need from the next person I choose to love, and happy that I have given myself the chance to find them." something about what you wrote hit me hard, somehow you give me strength and hope by this post.

    I really wish you all the best and hope you'll find someone who truly loves you 'til the end of time.

  2. It takes time to find the good one and it takes time to understand really understand it. But that's all the meaning of life.

  3. Hi Rosie!
    First of all, I really love how honest your posts are. Thanks for sharing!
    I too tend to pick myself apart at times and wonder where I've gone wrong, and why things don't work out for me, in various aspects of my life, so it's nice to know I'm not alone in that. Recently, just when I was on a "down" note, I came across the song - "Come Back Down" by Greg Laswell and it gave me a nice kick in the pants and re-energized me. Just thought I'd share it, since I've really enjoyed a great deal of songs you've posted :)

    Best of luck with everything!

  4. Hi Rosie, sorry to read about that..
    I've been through kind of the same situation a few months ago and I think it takes time to look forward something new after that. I haven't read much from your posts but it seems you always accept challenges and push further and further so I am not worried about you.

    The reason I am writing to you today is to thank you, we have been flickr friends for a while and I never took time to explore your work till this morning and I have to say I can't stop watching and studying it since!
    Your photography art is like a fusion of originality, precision, beauty shots and associations, you take small details that could seem meaningless alone and you mix them together to get awesome results.
    Congrats!! I am eager to see your next directions and thank you to share all this. It is a refill for inspiration.
    I wish you the best.

    (And sorry for the english mistakes ;) )

  5. Hello :)
    Your blog is one of my favourite blogs about photography, i love it! :)
    Look here → kliiiiick :) :)

    Greetings :)

  6. You should read Rori Raye's blog:
    She gives amazing advice on love, and I know it looks cheesy from a glance, and I didn't buy it the first time. But after a while both my mother and I have found her advice life changing!! It's all about focusing on yourself and making yourself happy, and letting guys walk in and out of your life if that's what they choose, but she teaches us women how to not let it get to us when they do leave, and if you focus on yourself and stop putting love and men on a pedestal (like I and every women does!), guys will want to stay because they love the challenge of winning you over since you're such a catch now that you're independent and active in life ;) It's made me look a relationships differently, and everytime I've used her advice, it's worked, WITHOUT FAIL! So hope everything works out for you Rosie keep on being amazing!